those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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