We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
