that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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