Can Purell be used as lube?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
