i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
