But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
