I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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