i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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