Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
