Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
