He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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