I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
