she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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