Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
