Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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