i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
