He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I am one with the molecules
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
