So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
