i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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