you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
