Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
