I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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