I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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