I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
