He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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