So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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