please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
