so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
