Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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