I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
