If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
