There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize