i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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