Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
