That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
