I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
