let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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