somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When are your genitals available?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
