I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
