Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
