Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
