What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
