You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize