How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
