I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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