Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
