no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
