Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
