Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
