it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
