how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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