i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
