I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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