break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
