respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
