One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
